Every Friday at Hoop District, we like to refresh our readers with a little basketball allure by presenting a top 5 list of the best Wizards action from the week. Be it a John Wall slash to the rim, a clutch jumper by The Truth, #OttoGlasses, or The Machine and Nene dominating the paint, our Vine lens is sure to catch it, and we’ll be sure to show it.
#5 – Nimble Nene spin cycle leaves KG in creases
For a guy the frame of a Don Jon and one that has been persistently hampered with lower body issues, the ever so God-fearing Maybyner Rodney Hilario must have the legs of an angel. Nene displayed sheer mobility and balance against a decaying Kevin Garnett on this play and his unprecedented quickness to the rim left Mason Plumlee too slow to react. Any damaged caused by this ravage seemingly came after the dunk, when an eventual lapse of balance had Nene stumbling into the baseline photographers. To this day, no Vine footage of that particular catastrophic sequence has been found.
#4 – The Crossover Chronicles, written by Jonathan Hildred Wall
Once again, our camera lenses captured a great angle of John Wall doing John Wall things. This time, at the expense of Russell Westbrook. I only wish the Vine had cut off before we saw Paul Pierce ruin what was unfolding into an orgasmic sequence of basketball. But yo, Wall pulled off what was a very textbook, left-to-right crossover that supplanted Westbrook into the hardwood, forcing him to make a desperately awkward reach for the ball as Wall zipped past him. Then the behind the back pass to Pierce in traffic. OMG Pierce dropping it. Blue balls.
#3 – Wall beats the buzzer
Well, this was certainly a treat. NO not the fact that we actually record live in-game Vines from a phenomenally better angle and quality than from a TV screen! Wall’s buzzer-beating shot at the end of the 1st quarter against Oklahoma City was a treat because it was his first points of the game and had given the Wizards a five point lead. Moreover, what makes this play even possible is the speed Wall runs up the court with in literally 1-point-something seconds after Porter feeds him the ball off a missed Kendrick Perkins shot. But wait. Was it really a second? Just how quick was Wall racing the ball up court for that shot? According to the play-by-play sheet, literally NO time elapsed between Porter’s defensive rebound and Wall’s 31-foot shot. We knew #QuickAintFair, but apparently this #QuickAintLegal.
#2 – John Wall’s perfect quarterback rating against the Sixers
It’s becoming really hard to fathom just how John Wall can reckon the exact play he wants to make before fully recognizing what’s unfolding on the court. His sense and awareness is prodigious. They formulate a masterful work of art. That, or his surrounding counterparts just know exactly where to be and he simply knows that they’ll be there. As Wall receives the jump ball, the lack of hesitation he displays in launching the ball across the court proves that his brain had already processed Bradley Beal jetting to the opposite end, and he simply made the perfect pass. Also confirmed: there were no dribbles made on this play that covered roughly 90 feet of hardwood.
Play of the Week
John Wall slinging a 40-foot no-look missile down court to Marcin Gortat
Seriously. I feel like the brilliance in this play is so understated. Earlier this week, I ranted about all the dismissive retorts Wall received from fans on social media regarding this play and it still continues to baffle me the more I watch it. Yes, this is against the Sixers but listen up, geniuses; in order for a player to trump a defense despite its shittiness, he still has to process some sort of a well executed play. The mere glance Wall makes away from the action along with his body angle turned in the opposite direction from where the ball was headed was enough to misdirect Larry Drew and freeze Robert Covington – both of whom WERE in ample position to cut off any movement of the ball coming towards them. But after Wall’s move, they weren’t even close. Wall effortlessly darted this ball 40 feet to Gortat for an easy slam, and it’s no wonder why the Internet peanut gallery wrote it off as no big deal.