There are a number of celebrities that we generally admire for their professional work but can seldom take serious otherwise. Kanye West is a very cliche example of a figure we can respect amid tumultuous times in a depleted hip-hop industry. But when a video of ‘Ye gratuitously pummeling a member of the paparazzi surfaces on YouTube, or an interview where he’s telling us his genius state of mind while disregarding 2Pac, well, those are the types of things that get check marked for reasons why he gets written as off an idiot.
We can also talk about Taylor Swift, but she doesn’t really fit the bill for “celebrities we admire” mainly because of quiver-infusing songs like the one she wrote about shaking off her haters or something. Taylor, your obnoxious song about your haters is the prime reason why said haters exist. Now put it all together and you start to wonder how I felt watching Kanye rip the mic out of Taylor’s hands on national TV to tell her she didn’t deserve her VMA award. Yeah, it was something along the lines of breathless laughs and double finger points at the television, followed by a long sigh and sobering conviction that Judgement Day was surely close.
And then there’s Drake. Musically talented; very successful as an artist, but characteristically he makes it very difficult to not laugh at him. The reasons are obvious: the over-exasperating and corny soft-toned vocals about missing an ex, the Degrassi career, the multitude of fanboy selfies with athletes and the sports bandwagon hopping. That shit show of a warmup session with the Kentucky Wildcats. And oh my God, the fiasco with Tyga at Stadium Nightclub a few weeks ago in DC where his fearsome gallant and soul-shattering bravery tilted club bouncers and instilled fear in anyone who walked in his way while he pursued the culprits who beat up his friend.
Drake’s often asinine image in the public has paved the way for easy jokes and wisecracks all over, and his particular involvement with the Toronto Raptors – the team our Wizards face tonight – make all those things relevant. Especially as the Raptors and Wizards are growing to become hard-nosed rivals in a tight Eastern Conference race.
So, let’s view and discuss a few snapshots of Drake at various basketball events, for no other reason but the hilarity of them.
Yeah, I’m going hard on this dude right from the jump. One of the most trending images after the Heat championship celebrations was this one in all its absurdity. Seen here is Drizzy, ever so coddled under ‘Bron’s wing with ebullience that was sickly blinding. Every time the Internet regenerates these pixels of Drake beaming in commemoration with his favorite team’s Eastern Conference rivals, one of Rob Ford’s hookers overdoses on a line she sniffed off his left breast.
The utmost urge for attention portrayed by the clean swirl in his hair and a boisterous cheer in front of his beloved Torontonians, far from the Kleenex rhymes he spits about sulking with alcohol breath and leaving voicemails for girls who once loved him.
Literally and absolutely nobody else in this picture had a fraction of the same reaction Drake had here. Not quite sure what to make of it, really. Maybe a misunderstanding of the rules? Like..’no, Drake, you can’t contest a free throw attempt.’
Oh man. All-Star Drake was peak Drake: the watermelon Jolly Rancher-colored leather sweats with his crotch knee-low and again, literally no one sharing the same type of reaction.
If only the Raptors were really bad I’d call this picture a microcosm of their team. Whatever. If you got Drake showcasing your franchise’s throwback jersey with high intensity cheesing faces, you should probably reconsider and reach out to a more manly figure, like Celine Dion.
The troll of the century went to the Brooklyn Nets after eliminating the Raptors in the playoffs last year. Don’t be surprised to see this image regurgitated by us if the Wizards happen to do the same this year.