The group stage is over! (If you missed the Group Stage, click here). The time has come for the Final Four of the Hoop District Washington Wizards Best Smile Championship!
Here’s how it works:
Now that we’re in the Final Four, each match-up will be judged head to head. 3 votes will be handed out.
- One vote from me; an unqualified, heterosexual male Wizards fan who has gotten tired of writing about losing.
- One vote from our anonymous professional dentist consultant, who sees smiles from a clinical and qualified standpoint.
- One vote from our beautiful 26 year old DC professional woman, who enjoys judging and fantasizing about rich professional athletes and their million dollars…oh, I’m sorry, I mean their million dollar smiles.
Highest total votes advances to the Championship. In the Championship round, opinions will be given, but we’ll leave it up to the fans to choose the winner!
On to the Final Four:
Match-up #1: John Wall vs. Nene
My Take: I know John Wall is our All-Star and everything, but look at that smile on Nene man! Wall has a great smile when you actually catch him smiling, joking in an interview or laughing with his teammates. But Nene…he looks like he could flash that smile to any stranger and get whatever he wanted. Nene needs to get a seat on a full flight? Just smile and he’ll get in first class. Nene wants to get into the VIP section of an Argentinian club? Just smile, and they open the velvet rope. Nene wants to get out of a reckless speeding ticket? Just smile, and he gets off with a warning. If Marcin Gortat had a smile like that, I bet he’d get to play in the 4th quarter! Vote: Nene
DDS Take: Nene’s got a smile that’s almost impossible to beat. Look at that crown exposure and contour. Look at that lack of excess gingival exposure. Look at that turn of the arch and that lip support. Look at corner of the mouth. Look at the ease and nature of that smile. Look at the apparent Class I jaw relation and the bone structure. This has nothing to do with John Wall. This is all about Nene. Vote: Nene
Woman’s Take: “Maaaaannnn. I love John Wall! He’s an All-Star too! But Nene…he looks like one happy guy. There’s no way those are his natural teeth. He had to have braces or something. See if you can ask him if he ever had braces.” Vote: Nene
Match-up #1 Winner: Nene
Match-up #2: Garrett Temple vs. G-Wiz
My Take: I feel like Garrett Temple’s smile has a strong vibe of seduction to it. I can’t really mess with that. Vote: G-Wiz
DDS Take: What the heck? How did G-Wiz make it to the Final Four? Garrett Temple has an asymmetrical smile, and only shows half his teeth, but at least he has teeth, and at least he’s actually smiling. Granted, G-Wiz doesn’t appear to have a sunken face, so maybe he does have some tooth support under all that…what is that fur? Feather?….is he even smiling or is he frowning? Gotta go with Temple just by default. Vote: Garrett Temple
Woman’s Take: “That guy’s pretty hot, but man, this blue thing just cracks me up! I just want to hug him! Give him a hug for me. How much do mascots make?” Vote: G-Wiz
Match-up #2 Winner: G-Wiz
Your Hoop District Washington Wizards Best Smile Championship:
Nene vs. G-Wiz
My Take: I do love G-Wiz, but I admit, technically, I don’t think he’s even smiling. My choice: Nene
DDS Take: Why are you even asking me this?! DDS Choice: Nene
Woman’s Take: “I can’t decide.”
Ok then…in that case, let’s get our female opinion another way:
Well then. I think Christy Winters-Scott’s look gives us our answer! Women’s choice: Nene
So you have our choices. As Chris Berman would say, “So you’re alllllll on Nene.” But this is the Championship. It’s not up to us!
Tweet “Nene” to @aIRFAN_2 to vote for Nene.
Tweet “G-Wiz” to @aIRFAN_2 to vote for G-Wiz.
Or simply answer the poll! Vote yourself. Tell your friends. Share on social media. Go to another device and vote again! And check back in with Hoop District on Monday, when we reveal the Hoop District Washington Wizards Best Smile Champion!