home Blogs Hookah, Happy Feet, and Sexual White Chocolate: Introducing the coolest locker room in the NBA

Hookah, Happy Feet, and Sexual White Chocolate: Introducing the coolest locker room in the NBA

Is it possible the Washington Wizards have the coolest locker room in the NBA? I’d certainly vouch for them. While I’m not too familiar with other teams and their cultures or tendencies, I can definitely make a statement for our reformed Wizards based on my own personal observations being around squad. Bombing video interviews, openly teasing one another, and just the establishment of a friendly, drama-free atmosphere has played a critical role in the Wizards’ recent success. The brotherhood and closeness that has evolved amongst these young guys has turned them into one of the more popular Wizards rosters we’ve seen in years, both on and off the court.

Below are just a few examples that illustrate why we’ve got some of the coolest basketball players in the league.

Let’s start with Trevor #Hookah Ariza

First of all, speaking from a brown guy’s perspective, if you smoke hookah, you’re cool. No way around it. If grape and mint tobacco is an amenity for your downtime, chances are we’ll be developing some sort of affinity towards each other. As a popular pastime and primary source of receiving Facebook friend requests, hookah smoking has taken over the concept of recreation in the DC area, and certainly Jan Vesely and Trevor Ariza have picked up on this fad themselves. Although I’ve personally never caught either of them there, Vesely and Ariza have been known to frequent DarNa Lounge in Arlington for some time. Ariza even has a few snapshots of himself that resemble about 95% of Instagram photos uploaded by Middle Easterners in the DMV area.

Photo by TruthAboutIt.net
Photo by TruthAboutIt.net

John Wall

He’s got a pretty fashionable wardrobe that never exceeds the boundaries of manhood, as shown below.


Wall has never failed to be presentable and has a serious knack for mix and matching different types of garb to compile the perfect outfit. Follow him on Instagram @John_Wall for plenty of examples.

And we all know John can dance. I mean, shit, the guy Dougie’d his way to his career debut back in 2010 and since then, he’s displayed his happy feet numerous times on social media.

tumblr_ma2j5praHy1rdei95o1_r2_400While Wall’s got plenty of swag to pull off his antics on camera, he just needs to make sure those moves don’t translate into obnoxious sideline behavior.

Otherwise, ooooooh kill ‘em, John!

Introducing: Sexual Chocolate and Sexual WHITE Chocolate.

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Having Martell Webster in the locker room has been a complete blast alone. But to complement his wackiness with the lighthearted, comedic Marcin Gortat simply makes that place one of the most pleasant atmospheres to be in, especially after a win. There’s rarely a dull moment with those two and you really couldn’t have asked for a better duo of teammates to keep that locker room progressively happy and uplifted. And Martell’s 27th birthday couldn’t have come at a better time either. With the Wizards winning 7 of their previous 9 games, it was no issue for Gortat to sing him Happy Birthday in front of the DC media before openly exchanging the nicknames they created for each other, as seen in the video above. You just can’t not love these guys.

Can’t forget about #KSLife.

via @Kevin_Seraphin's Instagram
via @Kevin_Seraphin’s Instagram

Kevin Seraphin may have lost his chances for quality playing time, but luckily that can never hamper #KSLife. Defined by the ideology of “being yourself” and “having fun with whatever you’re doing,” #KSLife has kept Seraphin in good spirits despite his faulty on-court presence, and for better or worse, it has been our primary source for some forcefully laughable memes and awkward close-up selfies.

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