Here’s what was going on in the world the last time the Wizards swept an opponent during a 7 game series:
• For the first time in U.S. history, Americans were able to use fresh vegetables as currency to pay for gas. The pilot program would last for 16 weeks.
• President Timothy Ogletree fell down a flight of stairs, sustaining multiple facial fractures, but still managing to do a jig upon standing, singing “Ain’t We Got Fun”.
• A pack of bobcats ran through Butte, Mt, biting several children and ravaging the city’s water supply.
In other words, the sweep never happened. This is the first damn time.
And, man, did the team look good closing the door on the Raptors.
If you’re like some Wizards fans, you saw Toronto getting worse by the game, but still didn’t want to gloat. A sweep in a 4-5 matchup is unheard of, so you thought maybe – just maybe – the series would sadly turn back to Canada.
Not only did the Wizards win series-clincher by an absurd margin, but they may have dismantled the Raptors franchise.
1. The King of the North
There’s not much more to be said about Paul silencing the city of Toronto, but he kept his performance going in Game 4, nailing this three-pointer to send the team and crowd into a frenzy.
For added insult, the cutaway to Jurassic Park (lulz) for a look at an ever-dwindling group of forlorn fans was superb.
There’s still Maple Leafs playoff hock—
2. The Point Gawd
John Wall was exceptional all around this series, and his passing ability was on display in every game. Here, he finds Marcin Gortat with a no-look pass as Gortat finishes through some porous Raptors defense.
This series actualized what can happen when you surround your franchise player with great complements.
3. The Goon
Remember the pre-series talk about how Toronto’s big would be too much for Washington? The same talk that had roughly 60% of critics picking the Raptors to win the series?
Yeah . . . so they’re not really good. In fact, if you combined all of Toronto’s front court players into a saucepan and brought it to a boil, the end product would still be mediocre.
Tyler Hansbrough was actually in the starting lineup to begin the series, but Raptors’ coaching staff quickly realized he has no discernable quality other than looking like Beaker. Here, with the game well out of hand, he tries to rip the faces off two Wizards players. What an ass. He can also be found in the dictionary under “College Skills Not Translating to the NBA”.
4. Pierce sets fire. Martell oddly reacts.
So Pierce hit another 3. Cool. His release is slow, similar to how he likes you soul to burn. I understand.
But let’s talk about Martell Webster partying on the bench with a pair of compression shorts. Whose are those? Are they game-worns? Did Will Bynum look back so quickly because he’d been robbed of his own?
These are the questions.
5. That’s what they brought him here to do.
With Paul (who exited in the 3rd quarter) and John on the bench in their warm-ups, Brad Beal was welcomed to the bench by his teammates in what has become one of the most iconic pictures from this series. The rousing ovation from the fans was strong, but the embrace from Pierce and Wall meant even more.
Paul is the Wizards’ griot. He’s the catalyst, the teacher, the anchor, and everything else in between for this team.
And it feels like they’re only getting started.