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The Humiliation Of The Washington Wizards In Cleveland On National TV

Cavs 108
Wizards 83

March 4, 2016 – Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH

NBA Stats Box Score

A gleeful feeling ignites within me when the Washington Wizards play in front of a national TV audience. It’s that elusive moment during the season I get to show them off to all my nonbeliever friends, except when I did last night, they decided to act like Stewie from MADtv much to my chagrin. Against the loathed Cavaliers. In Cleveland.

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The Wizards are at a supremely critical stage of their 2015-16 campaign. With their 61st game of the season now complete, 21 more still remain as they sit just a game and a half short of the 8th spot in the Eastern Conference. A win last night, combined with Indiana’s loss to Charlotte, would have all but completely pulled the Wizards out of the slow-moving quicksand of playoff elimination. Instead, the gripping pull of the quicksand, metaphorical to a 25-point thrashing by way of a balanced Cleveland attack, left the Wizards sinking right back to where they were.

The Wizards sloppily made their own bed from the very jump, with Bradley Beal misfiring on two lazy ass passes, both of which led to two uncontested LeBron dunks. The Cavs raced out to a 16-7 lead, before two quick fouls sent John Wall to the bench. Still, the Wizards managed to trail by only 4 at the end of the 1st, thanks in part to Beal and Ramon Sessions combining to score the final 9 points of the quarter.

But as mentioned, their bed was made, and the Wizards would surely lay in it. Stiff mattress. No headboard. No throw pillows. The Wizards completely unraveled in the 2nd quarter, getting outscored 32-17 in the period to the excruciating tune of 10 points by Matthew Dellavedova. Also, F Matthew Dellavedova.

The Cavs went on cruise control the rest of the ride, lightly tapping the gas pedal to increase the speed until they outscored the Wizards by 8 more points in the second half. The Wizards did close the gap to 13 around the midway mark of the 3rd quarter but Kyrie’s subsequent back-to-back 3’s would put the Cavs out of sight once and for all. Amid the onslaught, John Wall still managed a decent stat line, nearly a triple-double in fact, finishing with 17 points, 7 assists and 8 rebounds. Garrett Temple did not manage much of a stat line. In fact, it was one of the worst any player has had since 2009, as he finished with 0 points, 0 assists, and 0 rebounds in 26 minutes, forcing the gleefulness inside me to become utter dismay.


The Game’s Top Performer

Markieff Morris

Not exactly a top performer, per se; Keef’s defense requires significant mechanical refinements, but his offense in the second half felt like the only illuminating cell phone screen guiding the Wizards through a hoarded dark attic that was Quicken Loans Arena. He scored 13 points for the game, 9 of them in the second half.

Also, #KeefStep:



A forgettable night for..

Garrett Temple

Just going to leave this tweet here:


Two nice plays:

Rambo Wall:

Brad Beal churning a Shumpert Shake:

we are Hoop District

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